I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
