Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
