I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
When are your genitals available?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
