hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I will be naked everywhere
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
