mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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