help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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