you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
