and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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