He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
