Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I touched a dick in church today
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
