how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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