the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
