my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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