doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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