Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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