I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
