p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
