it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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