i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I got her a Nickelback box set.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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