Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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