I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
