can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
