I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize