I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
ttyl tear gas
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
