So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
