***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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