girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
