I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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