Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
