Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
