Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
