dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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