If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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