We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
