You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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