quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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