No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just invented taco cereal.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
