Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
