Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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