I must be too annoying 4 u.
Your dad touched me again.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
