don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
