She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
