New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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