that's an acceptable place to lick
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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