Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
