Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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