The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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