wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
