I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i dont even know how to be here
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
