You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
