Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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