he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize