Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There r osticjed everywhere
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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