AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
