If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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