I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
