She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
