You're so nebulous sometimes
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
