areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
BRING THE BAGELS
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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