I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he shaved USA in his pubs
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
