I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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