you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
