oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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