Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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