well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
