I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
