Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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