Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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