She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
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we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
there is glitter all over my balls
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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