We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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