Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
