I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
