I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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