I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize