Nicole vs. Life
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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