found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
