Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I will be naked everywhere
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
